Hi out there interwebz! Well, I’ve finally decided to blog again. And guess what??! It’s about my favorite subject. ABSOLUTELY NOTHING! I hate that I have this blog but never really have anything interesting to talk about. I could bore you guys with stories of my love life, or lack thereof, but I don’t even have any interesting stories. My poor little life has become so…boring? I hate it. But I’ve got enough boxed wine for the entire population of haiti to drink for a while. Ohhh…too soon? Probably.

So, Valentine’s Day is riiiiight around the corner, ya know? I was all bitter & upset because I would likely be alone. But fear not, I have plans with Joseph. He’s one of the first friends I made when I moved to Atlanta. We’re supposed to be going to see that gay ass movie “Valentine’s Day”. I reeaalllyyy wanna see it. It’s gonna likely become one of my guilty pleasures such as The Notebook, which I plan on watching tonight. I know everyone is gonna be all lovey dovey kissy blah blah blah on that day, but I’m glad I get to spend it with SOMEONE even if it is just another single friend. All my single ladies….uh uh ohh! Sorry, couldn’t resist. What are your plans for Valentine’s? Are you just flying solo? Got a big elaborate date plan (if you do, suck my dick & die), or are you just hanging with friends?? However you spend it, I hope you have tons of fun & aren’t sad. I plan on calling all of my single friends & catching up with them…all 3 of them. Ha!

Also, I’m STIILLLLLL looking for a good paying job. You guys, I’m getting annoyed now. I am done with interviews. Whether they be on the phone or in person. I’ve spent more money on interview clothes, train passes, & bus fares then I stand to even make with these lifeless jobs. It’s my own fault. I refuse to go back in the kitchen which is obviously where I belong. Everyone tells me it’s my “greatest talent”. Yeah it can be a talent but it’s not my passion. Cooking gets me all wired & super irritated, super quick. But blah blah again. We’ll just see. I am actually still looking into moving at the end of summer. I’ve looked at a couple temp agencies in Brooklyn & I’ve even talked a few companies & let them know my plan to move. As of August I have a few interviews up there. But shhhh don’t tell anybody. K? K. Don’t even wish my luck because I need more then luck. I need prayer. Yeah! Pray for me. That would be better.

Ahhhh shit. I forgot I had to go to walmart to get socks & undies. I will catch you bitches on the flip side.

(6days late) HAPPY NEW YEAR!! I hope everyone had a fantastic new years eve filled with lots of sexy time & champagne! It’s been 6 days since making our resolutions, meaning it’s been 5 days since we broke them. I haven’t updated in a while, so I figured I would just clue you guys in on my NYE & my amazing resolutions.

NYE was a cluster fuck of a bunch of black people, twisted apple gin, weed, & lube. That’s all I gotta say about that. So, back to those resolutions, who made the resolution to stay single or celibate? Anyone? No? Sluts. The lot of you! I’ve seen that many people are actually giving up on celibacy. I hope it has nothing to do with that pubic hair’d Jonas boy getting married. Personally, I made a resolution to lose weight & be the biggest whore this town as ever seen. Not even kidding. Why sit at home wasting away when you can be in some hot club in midtown, drunk off of top shelf vodka, getting your salad tossed in VIP by some DL pro athlete?! I’m sure there has to be SOMEBODY out there that agrees with me. If you are judging me right now, stop it. ONLY JUDGE JUDY CAN JUDGE ME! We’ll see how this all plays out though. Because if you know me, you know that I am super duper shy about anything sexual. (unless it’s on Twitter) Other then the whore resolution, I also made one to not smoke any more green & to drink a lot less. I’m averaging about 3 boxes a wine every couple days. It’s insane. I won’t even talk about my vodka intake. My liver is one more martini away from putting in it’s 2 week notice. Seriously. Blah blah blah.

Ok. That’s all I had to say(read:type). I know I wasted you time but, honestly, what else more important did you have to do? Nothing. Exactly my point.

Peace out cub scout. (thanks to @erikolson99 for that little departure saying)

Well, as much as it pains me to say this, I’ve jumped on the bandwagon. I have decided to be semi-celibate. Let’s be realistic, I’m not sure I can fully commit to this. But considering my “lifestyle” it seems logical to wait until I’m in a committed relationship before I start handing out my cookies. I don’t talk about this much, but the fear of contacting some sort of STD sends me into hysterics. AIDS & HIV. God just typing those out scare the shit out me. There are so many irresponsible people out there that refuse to get tested & I just don’t like thinking about it. Ahhh. New subject.

So my aunt is determined to start living healthy & she has decided to side car me to her ridiculousness. So after this week we are becoming “pescatarian”. Sound exciting? It’s not. You just eat fish as your “meat”. It won’t be that hard for me considering I hardly ever eat meat (har har). Also, she wants us to do a marathon. Just the THOUGHT of a marathon makes me tired. But seriously, how awesome would it be to run a marathon?? I told I would totally do it! I really feel like I should bring this exercise thing home. I’ve fiddled with P90X for weeks & gotten some results, but not enough to be satisfied with it. So on to the next thing. Watching “The Biggest Loser” makes me feel like “The Biggest Fatass”. Whatevs I’m not gonna dwell on that much longer.

Ok…So….Nothing else to talk about. Done.